Thursday, October 10, 2013

Day 11:: Forgiveness - A guest post

I am so happy to introduce to you Patti Burris.  She is a fellow single mother with an incredible story of forgiveness.  I have asked her to share her journey.  May it bring hope to you as it has me. 

When I realized my marriage was over and my husband was leaving me for another woman, to say I was angry was an understatement.  I was consumed with rage.  I saw my dreams of a happy family disintegrating right in front of me.  I was fearful of raising our five children alone.  I felt abandoned and I was on fire with hatred for this woman who I thought was destroying my life.

I am ashamed to admit that in the early years I even physically attacked her more than once.  I honestly wanted to rip her head off.

But slowly, over time, this woman and I have become the best of friends.  And she has been a loving step-mom to my kids.

How did I go from a consuming rage, to caring about this woman as a sister?  It did not happen overnight.  It was a process; a painful, necessary process.  I realized this anger was not setting a good example for my kids and it was destroying me.  I came to the point where I knew I had to forgive.


Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Forgiveness is not excusing the other person's behavior; forgiveness is releasing the chains from a prison of bitterness and anger in you.  A process of letting go of the negative feelings and allowing positive feelings of peace and joy to replace them.  It comes down to choice.

Be forgiven

In addition to forgiving others I had to ask forgiveness for what I had done to add to the situation.

1John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

I realized I was wrong in how I had reacted in my anger.  I needed to confess, not only to God, but to ask for forgiveness from my ex-husband and the woman I attacked.

It wasn't easy to apologize to the woman I blamed for tearing my family apart.

But I'm so glad I did.  She is a wonderful, loving woman who made a mistake.  None of us is perfect.  Who was I to judge her?

If you have been hurt by someone, I urge you to move forward with forgiveness.  Set yourself free from the pain and heartache.

Maybe you also need to ask for forgiveness.  I urge you to do that as well.  It doesn't matter if they forgive you or not.  You are acting in obedience to God and it brings you freedom to live in peace.

Patti Burris has been a single mom of five for 13 years.   She is passionate about empowering single moms to find God in the chaos.  You can find her at

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