Monday, September 30, 2013

31 Days of Hope for the Single Mom

Welcome to 31 Days of Hope for the Single Mom.  

I am joining the October Challenge of 31 Days with The Nester.  And challenge it is.  31 Days of writing and stretching and bleeding on keys.  I am excited to venture down this road, but more importantly, I'm excited we can do this journey together.

I encourage you to head on over to The Nester's blog and check out all of these beautiful bloggers eager to share ideas, hope and encouragement with you.  I know you won't be disappointed!

Without further ado, let's get started!!

Scroll down to read day 1::

When I was a little girl, I loved to play 'house'.  I would set up the highchair and the baby beds, strollers and accessories.  Everything had to be just so.  And of course, I was the Mommy.  Daddy was usually out working to provide for our family.    I would pretend he would come home and wrap his arms around me from behind, kissing my neck and telling me he was proud to be my husband.

Even as I was in high school trying desperately to plan for my future, this innate instinct of wife and mother, I could not shake.  I felt that this was my call in life.  This was my destiny.

Or so I thought.

My Story:

Girl goes to college.  Girl meets nice boy.  Girl falls in love and boy loves her too.  Girl gets married.  Girl has babies.  Girl stays home.  Girl gets minivan.  Boy seeks successful business.  Girl seeks the simple.  Girl gets lost.  Girl fails to find her own dreams.  The end.

Boy leaves girl.  Girl starts to dream.  The beginning.

No one walks down the aisle hoping for divorce court.  No one thinks in the moment that 'one night' could change her life forever.  No one asks for the death of a spouse way too soon.

But regardless of how your journey began, being a single parent is not the 'end all'.  Don't get me wrong.  It is demanding.  And it's exhausting.  And even if you have help from the other parent, it doesn't compare to the tag team living in harmony under the same roof.

But your life can still be rewarding.  You can still follow your dreams.  And you can overcome adversity.

I am by no means a single-parenting expert.  In fact, most days I'm just winging it.  But I can tell you this: This is the most rewarding God-given appointment you can ever have.  Did you catch that?  God does not make mistakes.  He is on your side.  And He finds you more than capable.

If you feel that your dream is shattered at your feet, He wants to give you a new one.  If you cry out in desperation felling completely alone, He sees you.  He hears you.  And He has never left your side.   

You are not alone.  And life is not over.  And you have this great privilege of taking these children and teaching them to soar.  And soar they will.  Because you are more than capable.

Over the next 31 days, can we travel this journey together?  

This blog is about to get real and gritty.  I'm going to share with you some parts of my life that may just pour salt into a wound of your own.  Not for the purpose of discouraging, but for the purpose of healing.

Here's what I've come to learn about community: When we find the one person that really understands us.  When we slowly start to tear down the barriers that we've built for the sake of protection.  As we begin to lay down our fake smiles and our man-made strength at the door.  As we become raw and vulnerable.  That is where hope begins.  This is where healing starts: from the inside out.

Here are some things you can expect over the next 31 days:

  • Ideas on how to live intentionally with your kids and keep communication open
  • Money-saving tips on a budget
  • Learning to discipline without fear
  • Time management ideas in hopes to add some 'me' time
  • Taming those roots of bitterness and anger
I'm gonna share a secret with you.  But don't tell ANYONE.

(Looks around and whispers):  I do not have it all together.

Seriously.  I screw up daily and I fail big time.

But I've learned to give myself some grace.

And I hope over the next 31 days as we laugh and cry.  As we share the messy and the beautiful.  As we sit down together and do this life, I hope you can find some of that grace for you too.  Because Momma, you're worth it.  And those babies, no matter their age.  They are worth it too.

**Make sure you sign up for e-mail alerts on the upper right hand side of this page so you don't miss any of our journey.  I will meet you each day right here.  Come as you, sit and relax and let's share in this messy, beautiful life, together.

Here are some of my friends and their 31 Days as well.  Check them out!!

Anastacia Maness


liz said...

So glad I found your blog through Nester, Becky! I, too, am a single mom, and since my divorce I have gotten back on the path to my dreams. I'm looking forward to your 31 days!!

Anonymous said...

Becky, your post hit home as I too have been putting myself last for quite a long time. Although I could be your mother, we are the same in that I still put my self and my dreams to the side supporting and helping out my grown up children and grandchildren, husband, and 93-year old mother. Yet I do trust that I am put in this place for a reason and as I try to decipher life and its hardships, I do the best I can, where I am.
God bless you! I will try to follow you the next 31 days...not sure I will always make it.
Katina Vaselopulos