Together....

Last weekend, my parents came into town to join the kids at school for a special Grandparent's Day breakfast.  The kids gave them a tour of their classrooms, garden and Outdoor Learning Center.  They also introduced them to their teachers.  Both my parents and the kids came home just bouncing from all the fun they had.

On Saturday, was my Dad's 76th Birthday.  And in two weeks, Mom will celebrate another birthday too.  We honored them with dinner, cake and presents.

As they were ready to leave, Dad and I were looking at some of the pictures from the day.  We came across several pictures of my Mom with sheer joy and surprise as she opened her gift.  And my Dad said something I will never forget: "I love that woman more and more everyday."

My parents have been married 36 years.  How after all these years, do they still have that kind of love?

The Blending...

Let me tell you, it hasn't been easy.  My parents came together later in life.  My Mother had two children from a previous marriage, and although no children, my Dad had a previous marriage as well.  Starting out blending a family was a challenge.  

I mean, have you ever watched a blender?!  The blades are sharp.  The churning, violent.  And sometimes in spite of your best effort, some pieces refuse to become a part of the final product.

I have talked to families over and over who have experienced first hand this attempt to blend.  And several have told me that if they knew before, the difficulty they would face, their not sure they would have gone through with another marriage.  Because it's hard.  Harder than they ever could have imagined.

There were definitely times early in my parents marriage where the future was uncertain.  Where they wondered if it was going to work.  But instead of throwing in the towel, they chose to stick it out.

The ideal....

Last week Apple released the latest and greatest in iPhone technology: the iPhone 5S available to the public late this week.

This new phone comes in three new colors: gold, silver and space gray.

It's 2x faster than the iPhone 5.  It has a new processor adding battery efficiency.

A brand new camera technology that claims anyone can be a professional photographer.  Because according to Apple, "...it makes more sense to teach iPhone how to take a great picture than teach people how to be expert photographers."

And it's most notable feature:  a futuristic finger print identity sensor known as Touch ID.

Interestingly enough, the last latest and greatest iPhone was released just over a year ago.  And speculations have already began for what may appear next year.

We live in a society always striving for the next best thing.  The niftiest in technology.  That one feature that's going to make our lives easier.  Better.  Happier.  And we want it now.  Instant gratification.

According to a December 2012 article on Google Think Insights, automakers are having to come up with a whole new strategy to appeal to Gen Y's (born 1980-1995).  According to the article, "Digital has only amplified Ys' independence, giving them first-hand experience of new people, places, and ideas. To today's young consumers, what counts is the experience, not the object."

How can we be surprised that we are taking this very mindset and applying it to our marriages?

The real....

Do you know what the problem is with approaching marriage with this mindset?  We make it all about us.  Me.  What is this person going to do for me?

But that is not the way God asks us to approach marriage.

Ephesians 5:22 and 25-27

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  

He asks us to sacrifice ourselves and our ideals.  To give ourselves up.  And in turn to serve our spouse. 

Not, 'only if you feel like it'.  Not, 'only if you're happy'.  Not, 'until someone better comes along'.  Not 'only if they do all the right things'.  Not even because it's simple and easy.  There is no asterisk.  No escape clause.  It is a command and it is to be unconditional.

Always two... 

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."  Ephesians 5:31

With fall upon us, the sky will soon fill with the V of Canadian Geese flying south for the winter.  This distinctive V-formation gives lift to the geese in the rear and allows for rest and conservation of energy as they fly such long distances.  On occasion, a goose will become tired and have to leave formation.

But there are always two.  Unless one dies, a pair of geese will stay together for life.  And if you do any research on the goose, you'll find service as well as commitment is important as they raise their goslings.

Finding the love....

I've watched over the years as my Mom and Dad serve each other.  Especially now as slowly the years continue to take their toll on their health.  And not once has commitment faltered.

If you think it's because their marriage is perfect and glides along without work.  You're mistaken.

If you think for one second it's because they always agree and never fight.  You're mistaken.

If you think it's because they are always respectful and never selfish.  You're mistaken.


But if you think it's because they work to lay down their selfish desires and serve each other.

If you think it's because they are quick to ask for forgiveness and even quicker to forgive.

And if you think it's because they took their commitment seriously. 

That my friends is how love can grow.  That is how marriages can survive.  And that is how you grow old together.