Friday, January 11, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Dive


I don't remember the long climb, or the sache' down the narrow catwalk.  But there I was at the end of the diving board, staring into the blue unknown. After much thought, and a few words of impatience from the girl behind me, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and walked off the end. 

The fall was quick and painless.  But scrambling and wrestling trying to get my suit back into it's proper place without drowning: that was my 12 year old nightmare. Surrounded by deep waters, I was able to compose myself and exit the pool with grace.  As I went back to my friends and shared my harrowing account, they just laughed.  Apparently this was to be expected.

Can I get honest here?  I'm struggling in my faith.  I look at this walk of following Christ and it is oh, so narrow.  One blind step after another.  And one day, one moment really, of taking my eyes off of Him, and I step off the narrow into the deep dark.  I've been scrambling and wrestling to try and pull myself back together.  But this fight with the flesh is tiring. 

I believe Paul talks of this in Romans 7.  He says he has the desire to do what is good, but he's unable to carry it out due to sin living in him.  Why is this so hard and why does the sinful nature have to be so easy?

I don't have an answer to the above.  But Paul does offer a solution: grace.

Grace from the One above who forgives.  Grace for ourselves as we try again. And grace for others as this is to be expected.


Today I'm joining Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday.  Where we write for 5 glorious minutes.  No over-thinking, no editing, just writing.  Will you join us?  Head on over to Lisa-Jo's blog and link up!

Five Minute Friday

1 comment:

Heather said...

Hi Becky! I'm stopping by from FMF at Lisa-Jo's blog. I'm so, so thankful for your honesty and vulnerability. Sometimes the first step to finding grace for ourselves is admitting that we're struggling and we so badly need it!

Your words and your heart are so beautiful, and I pray that you can find that grace for yourself as you put the pieces together and pray to know God's presence in your life at this time. It's so hard. I know. I've been there myself and I know that journey is a hard one! Praying that you can find grace today, friend!