Friday, October 11, 2013

Day 12:: Fear

But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.

I consider myself a full time professional mother. But to provide for my family by day, I'm a school bus driver. This is a fairly new gig for me and it has taken some adjustment. It was not easy going back into the work force after eight years of being a stay-at-home-mom. But I honestly love my job. It has it's ups and downs like any job, but for the most part, it's enjoyable to go to.

Most days are routine, but on occasion you will have one of 'those days'. Earlier this week, I was on my last route taking my elementary students home. As we were leaving the school, one of my students got a severe nose bleed. I gathered some napkins and instructed him to keep his head between his knees. Then I headed out.

Upon arriving at his stop, he ran out of the bus quickly. I proceeded with my route and finished my day. When I arrived back to the bus lot, I did my routine check. 

My student with the nose bleed, ran so fast off the bus, he left me this beautiful present on the floor.

I squealed. And then I squealed again. Then I realized I would have to bend down and reach between the seats to retrieve this monster, so I squealed again. Luckily for me, another driver heard my not-so-subtle-reaction and bailed me out. I honestly don't think I could have picked it up.

If you haven't already guessed, I have this insane fear of spiders since I was a little girl. Now, this eight legged giant was dead and under a dome, but it doesn't matter. Big, small, hairy or not, fear washes over me like a tidal wave. The only spider I do not fear is the Daddy long-legs but that is just because of the name. 'Daddy' doesn't sound threatening.

I hate this fear. It's irrational. I get that. It is not like they can hurt me. Spiders around where I live get no where near the size of the above. Poisonous spiders are not prevalent. And even more obvious, I am way bigger and more deadly to them, than they ever could be to me.

But still, the fear remains.

Maybe you don't fear an eight-legged creature like I do. Maybe you question the uncertainty of the future. Maybe you worry about more month at the end of your money. Maybe you are knocked into complete panic over your children's safety. Maybe you fear being alone. Maybe you dread walking out in complete blind trust in His will.

Whatever it is, let me tell you something. God sees you. He hears your heart cry out. He is right there beside you, whispering, "My child, do not fear, for I am with you." He longs to bring you peace. He knew it would be in our human nature to have fear. Did you know that the phrase 'fear not' appears in the Bible 365 times. That is one assurance for every day of the year. Your anxiety is not irrational to Him. He knows all about it and He longs to have you trust Him with it.

Lay your fears down at His feet. He will either come to your rescue, just like my co-worker did, or He will strengthen you to conquer it yourself. Either way, it is in His hands. 

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

*On a side note, I finally became amicable with the creature above, with the understanding that in the future, he stays home. 

If you are struggling with a fear or 10 and feel comfortable, please share in the comments. I would love to have the opportunity to pray for you.

1 comment:

Chelle said...

Thank you for your encouraging words; being a single mom too of a boy who is hurting and a girl who is still too young to realize I pray for joy and peace in them, fearing my abilities as a mom.