Better, not bitter

Moving forward this week, I received an e-mail that threatened to set me back. A simple request really, but one that brought back much emotion over things past. I immediately hit the reply button and typed an emotion filled sentence that may have set a snowball a rollin'.

But instead of hitting send, I sent a text to a good friend. I told her about the e-mail and how I wanted to respond.

She sent a text back saying: "You could totally respond like that."

Oh, sweet relief! I wanted that permission to be bitter and angry.

Her next text: "But maybe you shouldn't."

Blast if this woman doesn't know my heart!

I told her she could help a sister out. I just wanted to be bitter.

And she responded: I know friend, but you're better now. Not bitter.

No wiser or more encouraging words have ever been spoken. Or text.....

The Fight

I came across a video I want to share with you. Pastor Steven Furtick is the founder and lead pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. I've considered moving there just so I can attend his church. I'm kidding mom....kinda.

Click here to watch the video. It will open a new window. I promise that it is worth the watch.

Go ahead, I'll wait right here....

 
 
The enemy grips and threatens to choke my voice. He screams for me to give up because he fears my story. He fears my words. He knows that this divine path of my life will bring great glory to the God that I love.

I sit down to write and he shouts inadequacy. He distracts with thoughts of perfection. He plants lie after lie that my voice does not need to be heard.

He beats down and destroys. He distorts the senses to cause question in all that God has done. He reminds of failures and sin. He builds a wall to separate me from the One who has called me. He threatens to pull me back along a path already conquered.

He gives fear and timidity where God has given power and love and self-discipline. 1

The enemy overwhelms, but my God overcomes.

I will fight to glorify God.

I will fight to cut through the jungle of lies he has intertwined attempting to isolate me. I will not allow him to stop my voice any longer.

I
WILL
FIGHT!   

photo credit: ushtey via photopin cc

Are you ready to fight?!

To defeat and conquer for your Lord?!

What fight do you have before you? Has the enemy waged a war trying to stop you from your God-given purpose? Share in the comments the battle you are facing.

Join with me and let's win this battle together!

1-2Timothy 1:7

My One Word

OK. So I've been procrastinating on this post. And I've also been neglecting this blog big time. But at 11:36pm on January 4th, I sit down to do dis. (And no, I did not misspell that.)

As 2013 came to a close, I ducked my head and ushered her out, quietly closing the door behind her. A year I never want to repeat. A door I never want to reopen.

My year had some highlights, don't get me wrong. I began a new job. The kids and I had some awesome adventures. I spent a relaxing week on a beach in Florida making memories with my family.

But if my life were a movie on the big screen, 2013 for me, was what they refer to in Hollywood as the 'all is lost moment'. That point where it gets worse before it gets better.  Where you're just not quite sure if the main character, the one you're rooting for, is going to make it out alive or fall by her own demise.

Is the bitterness and distrust going to eat her alive?

Is she going to harbor this feeling of betrayal forever?

Is she going to continue to rehash the past because she doesn't know how not to?

Is she going to lose her compassion because, 'what's the point?'

Yet my Redeeming Narrator speaks over my 2013:

Is she going to continue to fight and struggle against My blessings?

Is she going to allow My grace and mercy to heal and change her heart?

Her faith so strong before, dwindles. Yet I remain. I AM holds her.

How long is she going to wriggle in My grasp?


I don't know if I have shared this before in my journey here on this blog, and even if I have, it bears repeating. One frustrated moment several years ago, I prayed a prayer, completely off the cuff. I was standing in my kitchen, and it had been a very trying morning for my marriage. I don't remember the details or the reason, but I'll never forget the prayer.

"Lord, if he is going to hinder my walk and my purpose for You, take him away from me." That was a bold, somewhat self-serving prayer spoken in the heat of the moment. One I never thought about again.

Until He did.

First let me say: be careful what you pray.

I mean, seriously. Of all the self-serving prayers I've uttered out of my mouth, You choose that one to answer!? Not the one for world peace. Not the one for new carpet. Not the one for a skinnier bod... That one?

And second, let me say, don't fight the answer.

God was preparing me for this journey. He was preparing my heart. He had the road all mapped out. He knew before me what would happen and He knows now what will happen moving forward. It's all in His hands.

But the key word in the last paragraph is 'forward'. Not rehashing the past. Not longing for what was supposed to be. No looking back. Just forward.

And that right there folks, is my One Word. No resolution. No empty promise with no follow through. My theme for this blog and for this next year. Just. One. Word.

Forward.

Lord, thank you for 2013. You have continued to meet me where I am. You have been waiting patiently knowing I would come to a point of complete surrender to Your will. May I never be the one in the way of my walk and my purpose for You. Together, today, I walk with You, forward.
In His Will, Amen.