Bending

Two winters ago, my daughter had a sledding mishap.  Upon x-ray we found she had broken her collarbone.  The Dr. called it a green twig fracture.  A child's bones are still soft.  They can have a major impact and bend and technically break, but not snap in half.  Healing is quicker, pain doesn't linger, mobility is not hindered long term.  Cosmetically there may be a small bump, but usually nothing significant. 

In the bending by God, it can almost feel as though we will snap in half.  But He is faithful and He is just and He heals.
Isaiah 42:3 "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;" 

288 days ago I knelt at the altar on that chilly November Sunday morning and prayed: "Lord, I know You are preparing me for something.  I know You are with me.  Lord, I accept whatever story You have for my life.  I commit to You, that no matter what, You will be glorified and I will shout your goodness from the rooftops"  That afternoon, everything I knew fell apart.  He was bending and shaping me way before I knelt that day.  And in complete surrender, I gave all to Him.  I think that is one of the quickest prayers God has ever answered in my life and that evening, I cried out to Him "I take it back!"  Oh, how I can relate to Peter!

In those 288 days, I've had moments of reflection; snippets of fear, heartache, tears, bitterness, anger, love, regret, peace, questions, and even joy.  288 days lying at my Master's feet; sometimes in fervent supplication; repentance; conviction.  Hungry for His Words; seeking his Wisdom; praying for His will; while he bends and shapes me beyond understanding.  And even though there were moments I thought of heaven way more than existence, I have not broken under the pressure.  He is still with me and hasn't left my side.  And I know the healing salve of His presence and His Words will bind my wounds.  Pain will lessen.  But unlike my daughter's collar bone, which today has no cosmetic sign of breaking, I choose to embrace my scars.  A sweet reminder of the bending that does not break.