Saturday, October 26, 2013

Day 17:: Doing it together - A guest post

I am so happy to have Jessica guest posting for us today. She is a beautiful woman with a heart for God. Today she shares her journey in single parenting and how important it is to 'do it together'.

Scared and alone. Angry and confused.

That was me at 19. A child growing in my belly and dreams fading in my heart more and more each day.

I was young and reckless and trusting. I moved home from college in the fall of 1996. He stayed.

Today, 17 years later, he’s working in the family business with a degree. I’m working full time and
literally living from one paycheck to the next, without any credential or degree. We are both parents.

We are okay with each other and the choices we made. Dare I even say that we’re friends again?
Parenting together isn’t easy. But it is possible and it is worth it. Every pride-swallowing, tongue-biting step is worth it. 

However, there are moments…

I can’t tell you how many days I have just wanted to run, take our son & go somewhere to start over.
After all, I’m doing most of the day-to-day duties that come with parenthood by myself. I’m the one
making sure he gets to school on time, working through the eye rolls and talking back, playing hide-andseek
with his socks every morning. So I may as well do it without the hassle of dealing with my ex…

Not even close. I’ve known from the beginning that this child needs us both.

photo credit: Tambako the Jaguar via photopin cc

I know it because of my parents’ choices and absences. I know it deep down in the places that are so
closed off you can’t even articulate what your spirit longs to say. Those “please don’t leave me to do this
on my own” moments can be seen in my eyes, as well as my son’s.

And so I stay. Every day. Because I want better for him than I had. I live out the choices I wish others had
made. I renew my commitment to being a mother, a good mother, every single day.
The bible tells us that God’s mercies are new every morning ~ and I believe that’s because we need them
with each new day.

Raising a child in the most ideal of circumstances is challenging. Bringing that child up in partnership
with another, in the midst of raw emotions, is impossible. That is, unless you bring a third party into the
equation ~ the Divine Healer himself.

Now, here is the good stuff. The two steps that will ensure your success 100% of the time, regardless of
what your circumstances are:

  1. Put the needs of your child at the forefront of your mind & do what is right by him. Don’t do what is easy. Don’t do what feels good at the time. Do what will yield the best results and example for your child.Every time. No matter the cost to your ego and pride. Even when that means doing something, saying something, listening to someone you absolutely do not want to.
  2. Pray and trust in the Lord. Instead of picking up the phone to call on your most trusted, loved friend or family member, reach out to God. Ask Him what to do. Unload those emotions on Him. He’ll place people in your path that will help you through these times and help you navigate sticky situations. But make Him your ultimate confidant and counselor. He will never let you down.

“God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.” (Lamentations 3:22-24)

Jessica is mother to Jonathan (16) and Sophia (5). Lover of words, coffee, Jesus and music. (In)courager of hearts as a Mentor and Community Group Leader for (in)courage. Collector of all "B" things - baskets, bottles, books, bows, boxes, etc. Traveler on a journey of faith through the ordinary.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Amen! Beautiful advise from a beautiful person - inside and out. Thank you for your insight. I am raising two teenagers and at times, I think I am losing my mind but I know leaning on God is the only way we will get through these years. Thank you for the reminder.